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Long time No see
I found I haven't written any article for a long time. 
I'm in the U.S. right now. I have been working in the university as a Japanese Language Teaching Assistants since last summer and studied Japanese history.
I'm having fun here. I love teaching, studying and talking with my close friends.

Actually I am about to cry right now. I don't know why.
I feel so lonely in the library, surrounded by American students though.

I wanna be important to someone.  I wanna be responsible for the society.
I wanna be needed by you. I wanna be something special.
I belong to societies, Japanese classes, clubs, close friends... but I feel like I'm just a visitor. actually that's true, I have to go back and live a life in Japan. I guess if I want, I can live wherever I want, but I cannot imagine me living abroad. 

I don't know what I want to do after leaving here. 
I wanna be a journalist. I like teaching in school. I wanna study at grad school.
It's the time to face the reality, cannot run away anymore. have to decide what to do, but it is so hard. I respect my friends who got jobs and will starts working this spring. I'm not brave like them, cannot decide my future.

I wish I could speak English fluently. I wish I could express what I want to say.
I wish I could behave like one independent individual. I'm not satisfied with what I am here. I wanna be Momo-chan, who is more active and attractive in Japan. I miss her. I wish you were next to me and hugged me in your strong arms. I love that.
Please wiper me "you are adorable" 

gosh. I miss her so much. I wanna be like her again. 
now I became a little smarter, she must like that. 
I complained a lot. it doesn't mean I dont like myself though.
just I'm confused...


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